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Narcissist information

What Am  I  Dealing With?

There are four personality disorders that can look very similar and can be difficult to differentiate. They are: Antisocial Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I refer to these personality disorders as The Quadrangle. It is possible for a person to be one of these, all four of these or any combination. The following table will list the diagnostic criteria of each disorder as given by the DSM-5.
Antisocial Personality Disorder 301.7 (F60.2)
Diagnostic Criteria
A. A Pervasive pattern of disregard for an
    violation of the rights of others, occurring
    since age 15 years, as indicated by three (or  
    more) of the following:
    1. Failure to conform to social norms with 
        respect to lawful behaviors, as indicated by
        repeatedly performing acts that are
        grounds for arrest.
    2. Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated 
        lying, use of aliases, or conning other for
        personal profit or pleasure.
    3. Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead.
    4. Irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated
        by repeated physical fights or assaults.
    5. Reckless disregard for safety of self or 
        others.
    6. Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by
        repeated failure to sustain consistent work
        behavior or honor financial obligations.
    7. Lack of remorse, as indicated by being 
        indifferent to or rationalizing having
        hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another.
B. The individual is at least age 18 years.
C. There is evidence of *conduct disorder with 
     onset before age 15 years.
D. The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not
     exclusively during the course of
     schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.
*(Childhood-Onset 312.81 (F91.1) Adolescent-Onset 312.82 (F91.2) Unspecified-Onset 312.89 (F91.9)

Borderline Personality Disorder 301.83 (F60.3)
Diagnostic Criteria
A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects and marked impulsivity, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined 
    abandonment. (Note: Do not include suicidal
    or self-mutilating behavior covered in
    Criterion 5.)
2. A pattern of unstable and intense
    interpersonal relationships characterized by
    alternating between extremes of idealization
    and devaluation.
3. Identity disturbance: markedly and 
    persistently unstable self-image or sense of
    self.
4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are
    potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending,
    sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge
    eating). (Note: Do not include suicidal
    or self-mutilating behavior covered in
    Criterion 5.)
5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or
    threats, or self-mutilating behavior.
6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity
    of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, 
    irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few
    hours and only rarely more than
    a few days).
7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.
8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty
    controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of
    temper, constant anger, recurrent physical
    fights).
9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or
    severe dissociative symptoms.

The Quadrangle

Narcissistic Personality Disorder 301.81 (F60.81)
Diagnostic Criteria
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance
    (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents,
    expects to be recognized as superior without
    commensurate achievements).
2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited
    success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal
    love.
3. Believes that he or she is “special” and unique
    and can only be understood by, or
    should associate with, other special or high-
    status people (or institutions).
4. Requires excessive admiration.
5. Has a sense of entitlement (i.e., unreasonable
    expectations of especially favorable
    treatment or automatic compliance with his
    or her expectations).
6. Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes
    advantage of others to achieve his or her
    own ends).
7. Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or
    identify with the feelings and needs of
    others.
8. Is often envious of others or believes that
    others are envious of him or her.
9. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or
    attitudes.

Histrionic Personality Disorder 301.50 (F60.4)
Diagnostic Criteria
A pervasive pattern of excessive emotionality and attention seeking, beginning by early adult-hood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1. Is uncomfortable in situations in which he or
    she is not the center of attention.
2. Interactions with others is often
    characterized by inappropriate sexually 
    seductive or provocative behavior.
 3. Displays rapidly shifting and shallow 
     expression of emotions.
 4. Consistently uses physical appearance to 
      draw attention to self.
 5. Has a style of speech that is excessively 
     impressionistic and lacking in detail.
6. Shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and
     exaggerated expression of emotion.
7. Is suggestible (i.e., easily influenced by others
    or circumstances).
8. Considers relationships to be more intimate   
     than they actually are.


What is a Narcissist?

     At their core, a narcissist is essentially an adult with the emotional development of a 4 year old.  Do not confuse emotional development with mental development. Most narcissists are extremely sharp mentally. I have heard narcissists described as pure evil incarnate. Narcissists are capable of doing very bad things, have no doubt, but they are usually the product of a very horrible childhood, as are all those in the Quadrangle. These are very damaged people.  
     A narcissist is usually all about themselves. Everything they do, in some way, is about them. They must the have "perfect image". Wearing the right clothes, living in the right neighborhood, having their kids in the right school, and of course their kids are perfect at school and sports and whatever else they do, the have the right job, or no need for a job. This is what the narcissist wants to achieve. People, pretty much all people in their lives, are means to end. Someone to use. If you aren't useful to a narcissist, they will have nothing to do with you.
     Narcissists are incapable of intimately connecting with another human being. They have no concept of love. People are like disposable objects. When an ink cartridge needs to be replaced, you get a new one. That is how a narcissist thinks of others. Now if one of these "objects" tries to get rid of them before they are ready the narcissist will try everything they can, usually just short of anything that would mean jail time if they get caught. A lot of narcissists think they won't get caught though.
     Narcissists thrive on chaos. They cannot handle emotional situations, because they don't really have any emotions, aside from anger and jealousy. Narcissists need the people in their lives to absolutely depend on them and be able to bear it if they leave. From the minute they meet their future spouse, they begin to slowly work on dismantling the relationships in that persons life.
     The narcissists chief weapon is projection. A narcissist will tell you exactly what they have done, are doing or are planning on doing because they will accuse others of doing those very things. Listen to what you are being accused of doing. It's important.
     Narcissists lie. About everything. Even when there is no need to. The narcissist needs to keep you off balance. They need you to begin to question reality itself so that eventually you will do or believe whatever they say. The narcissist has isolated you from friends and family so you have no one
to help you verify reality.  It does not matter what a narcissist tells you, check things out for yourself.
Especially when it comes to assets and legal documents. The narcissist will tell you whatever they need to make you think they have all the power. They quite often don't actually have anywhere near the control over you they are telling you.
     Since narcissists are incapable of really connecting to others, they have no empathy for others and are capable of a lot of ethically (and legally) questionable things. Narcissists are looking for the shady, backroom type of deals.
     Most of the narcissists I have worked with are shame based. They were shamed relentlessly as children, so they now shame others in order to get people to behave how they want.

Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome

Narcissistic abuse syndrome or Narcissistic victim syndrome is almost always comorbid (occurring at the same time) with PTSD. Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome is not an official diagnosis.  If you find a therapist who works with Trauma and/or PTSD they can help you with Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome. They may be a little fuzzy about all of the symptoms. Copy the following list by Mark Smith, and take it to them but they can help you. Recovering from PTSD is a slow journey. Recovering from this abuse is also a slow journey. Is it better to find a therapist familiar with this syndrome if you believe you have it? Of course. Victims of Narcissist Abuse need treatment, encouragement and support.
Mark Smith shares from his personal experience and extensive research 50 symptoms of Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome, a condition that flies under the medical model radar due to the covert nature of many narcissists and a lack of professional awareness.

50 Symptoms Of Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome

1. continual crying
2. identity erosion
3. exhaustion
4. panic attacks
5. obsessive thoughts Continued recollections and replays of the event "cognitive dissonance"
6. brain hurts
7. constant searching for the truth
8. claustrophobia - the cruise
9. confusion - brain fog
10. fear of engulfment (even by words)
11. flipping back and forth in how you see things
12. you feel crazy
13. flashbacks
14. anxiety
15. severe depression
16. unable to sleep
17. suicidal thoughts
18. addiction to the perpetrator
19. care about nothing - lack of interest in hobbies - lack of joy
20. hands shaking
21. emptiness
22. loss of appetite
23. sensitivity to sounds, light - van trip the first day of Milestones
24. hyperconnectic - pacing
25. easily startled
26. shame
27. fragile body
28. pain in your chest
29. nightmares
30. avoidance
31. not remembering what happened early on
32. rage
33. hopelessness
34. being on guard for danger
35. lack of trust
36. shutting down sexually
37. grieving one's innocence
38. feeling unhinged
39. disassociation
40. need for solitude
41. fight or flight response
42. being numb
43. powerlessness
44. vulnerable to rescuers
45. feeling psychologically raped/defiled
46. preoccupation with revenge
47. moodiness
48. paralysis of initiative
49. trust issues impulse control
50. destruction of property


Parental Alienation

Coming Soon

Healthy Boundaries and Their Importance

Comin Soon
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